The Ultimate G.A.A. Odyssey

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Brussels, Belgium
A journey of triumph and despair across the roads, railways and skies of Europe, sharing in the relentless mission to develop, sustain and grow a G.A.A. club in the backwaters of the Association.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Top Twenty...

....things that make playing G.A.A. in Europe difficult.

20 Wearing colours which aren't that of your home club.

19, Michael Hough and Willie Cashin.

18 Travelling

Our closest venue in terms of actual travel time is Maastricht (1.5hrs), our furthest is Zurich (8hrs). The novelty of these exotic venues wears off pretty quickly.

17 Challenge Games

As you can imagine, its not easy. We've lured a few teams over but it degenerates into a booze up for them. Our last vistors had two lads brought to hospital after ten minutes of the match. One wasn't even playing. Previous nights drinking was high on the list of probable causes.

16 Forgetting Jerseys

When you're a few hundred miles from home, its pretty tricky to pop home to get them. Only happened once and we aren't naming names. The tough wearing blue O'Neills 1980 versions supplied by the host were itchy and irritable in the 25+ degree heat. Still, we looked class.

15 Sightseeing

Or not. Sounds great when you say you are off to Copenhagen, Munich, Budapest, Rennes etc. However, time, money and frequency of tournaments don't allow for much wandering. Usually, you will leave work as late as possible on a Friday. Tournament all day Saturday followed by tournament dinner. Good tourist intentions are long forgetten by the time the main course arrives. The only thing you see that night is the inside of an Irish pub and if you have the energy, some local nightclub. Waking up sun burnt and hungover the next morning, the smart ones will have booked an early flight or train and will just want to exit the stage and get to their bed in Brussels.

14 Rain

It nearly does it as much as at home. We don't complain but there are nicer things than finishing training like a drowned rat, picking up your soggy gear and heading home on the metro. No dressing rooms ya see.

13 Belgian Military

They don't speak English and won't give us a key to the pitch. So we need to pick it up before training and deal with the puzzled 'key, what key?' looks they throw at us. Thats when they are there. Apparently they don't give out the key on public holidays or during Easter. Thats not so nice if no-one tells ya and you've taken the train to training from Liege.

12 DIY

There is a big do it yourself feel to the GAA here. Basically, a GAA club existed here back in the 90's but died away. The current club got going again around 2003 or 2004 with Hurling and Camogie, with Football added last year. The club was built back from scratch in this period by the players themselves. The players continue to develop it but in the absence of non-player/retired Members all the work is left to them. This means the actual running of the club in terms of committe issues, training teams, hosting tournaments. Something like fundraising is a good example of where workload may be greater here then at home. At home, you have a ready made contributing army built up over time and through families. To get a fundraiser going here requires a massive amount of time and cajoling from all the Members, who are dual assigned as player and helper

11 Drinking

The pubs stay open all night. If you don't get them straight off the boat they can get caught up in one of the hefty expat drinking clubs. There is little chance of winning their heart back thereafter.

10. Dubs

I’d never played with or against one in Ireland. Just listening to their self righteous ramblings in their fancy dan accents would be enough to put anyone off. Notable exception being Martin.

9. Mayo men

They’ve an inbuilt self-destruct button that could bring down the best of teams sindlehandedly.

8. Galway men

They think they play pure football. Yawn.

7. Getting hurleys

Tightened restrictions on luggage means you now have to check in hurleys when flying. If you are going to Cork that means four flights at €10 a pop which turns them into expensive hurls. The system has been beat though, most notably by Conan who allegedly passed his off as expensive pieces of art.

6. Pitches

There are no tailor made ones obviously. This means no high nets behind the goals, fixed goal posts and fences around the pitch. In Parc50 we are lucky to be able to store our portable goalposts and use them for training. However, the pitch is enclosed by a running track which is surrounded by deep bushes resulting in many a lost ball.


5. Committees

They’re just a pain in the arse everywhere.

4. Money

Playing tournaments costs anything from €50 to €300 euro a man. Training requires pitches and pitches cost money. You can imagine the GAA doesn’t exactly capture the imagination of an expat population which makes fundraising a right pain in the arse.

3. Business Trips

From a work point of view, most people are based here in some form of HQ which means they will be dispersed on a regular basis to subsidiary offices. This disrupts training and tournament attendance. Others work in the service industry where the hours are not conducive to training.

2. Turnover
In the last 10 tournaments, we have used 60+ players. There is a core but the rest can turnover on a month to month basis.

1. Girlfriends

Obviously these are a problem everywhere. The key distinction here is that they are all away from home; their family and old friends. This is significant because YOU become their entire life when away. Weekends are not for the lads, they are for the lady. Going away for the day playing GAA is out of the question and the need to follow it up with a night on the booze is incomprehendable for them. Red card.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dave, you'll be known as the Stephen Jones of GAA journalism in the not too distant future!!

Anonymous said...

Hilarious! Are you deliberately trying to fire everyone up?

Anonymous said...

Mayo are magic !!!

Wandering Gael said...

but finals are tragic!!

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