Training Irritations

The Gooch reckoned I had at least twenty seven moans at training on Thursday. He’s probably right. He also criticised me for not finishing on a positive note. I ranted at him about this but eventually acknowledged he was right about that too. William Cummins was the first person I heard say this. It was one of the things he picked up from his time in Chriost Ri; always finish on a positive note.

I do my very best to keep a lid on it at training cause I know fellas don’t want training to be stopped regularly or to hear my voice more than is absolutely necessary!!

However, as it is a two way street, no harm to get the things that I find most irritating out of the way. Reduce this list and get less of a headache.

1) Missing training without informing myself or Colin.

2) Missing training for something you think is a valid excuse but could have been avoided thus making it an invalid excuse. These can be wide-ranging and include excuses like workload even though ya might have strolled into the office at a leisurely hour or taken a nice handy lunch. They may also include going to the cinema with your girlfriend or doing any other activities with said person on one of the two (out of a total of 7) nights you are training.

3) Not recognising the invalidity of above mentioned excuses.#

4) Being late for training without a valid excuse i.e. jesus, traffic was mental because of the EU Summit. These summits are not a secret. Plan ahead, leave earlier than usual.

5) The drill is explained. There are 6 cones and 24 players. Players are told to get in even groups at the cones. They scatter. 10 lads are on a red cone and 2 on a white cone, 6 on a blue and 6 more on a green. Two cones are totally vacant.

6) Arriving late and getting straight into a drill, not recognising that one group may be totally uneven and joining that group. Small thing but that means an uneven distribution of work i.e. one group gets flaaed whilst the other has too much standing around.

7) Being told every night to get your water and bring it to every drill with you. Then, not bringing water in the first place or leaving it in your bag and wasting time between drills going over to get it. And stopping for a chat.

8) Arriving late to training and joining into the conditioned game without asking the rules. Quickly following up your first wrong with a blank ‘how was i supposed to know’ look on your face.

9) Wearing soccer, rugby or any other jersey from a foreign code.

10) Not having gloves when it’s raining or generally greasy.

11) Calling me at 18h40 wondering what the craic with lifts is, when training is at 19h in Tervuren.

12) Talking to the girls when you should be practising your kicking whilst you are waiting for everyone to assemble.
13) Practicing your kicking before training by baiting the ball against the fence (and frequently over it) instead of getting a partner and doing it properly.

14) Looking blankly when a drill you have done a thousand times is explained to you again.

15) Running to the wrong cone.

16) Continuing to play when you know you’ve just carried the ball over the boundary line of the pitch, picked it straight off the ground or thrown instead of handpassing it.

17) Complaining that a ball is flat when there is a pump in the bag i.e. pump the thing.

18) There is a bib bag and it’s been the same bib for a long time. As filthy and smelly as the bibs are, they won’t walk back into the bag.

19) In the warm-up, we’re doing hamstring stretches. Everyone starts on the line. You hold for three seconds and do each side three times, moving forward two steps after each one and counting in your own head. Theoretically, everyone should finish the set at the same time, in the same place. Never happens.

20) Not calling names in drills (I don’t know his name is not an excuse), communicating on the pitch or encouraging the lads who are bursting their balls in a drill while you are resting.

That’s twenty. Maybe Gooch can’t count. I’m not joking when I say all twenty of those things occur virtually every....single.... night.