Marauding Munster Take Inaugrial Title

More shameless theft of other men's handywork. My views on this magnificent excapade coming soon.....

Dublin Hopes Pearsed by Lustrous LeinsterReport
by Oliver O'Callaghan
 
Dublin 2-9
Leinster 4-11
 
With the "Coalition of the Willing" beaten by "Mercenaries Inc." the Doobs still had a glimmer of hope of making the final. Standing in their way would be Leinster Lite playing for the not insignificant prize of their pride (at least half of this team has been seen marching for Pride).
 
As soon as the game started Leinster had the look of a team unshackled by their position, while the Dubs seemed to be toiling under the pressure of expectation, living up to the clichés about their county. Leinster grabbed the early initiative which they would refuse to surrender throughout the match, through a classy finish from Colly Byrne who would later add a bitten tongue to his litany of injuries this summer. Scores continued to flow for Leinster including a fisted goal from Conor Aylward in a blatant, pathetic attempt to wrest the title of "Goalpuncher Extraordinaire" from an unnamed injured player.
 
Halftime saw the Dubs reeling but not out of it yet. Alec Elliot's goal gave them hope albeit the type of hope usually found in gambling addicts spending their last fiver on scratch cards. Eoin Ó Seanain could be seen making apoplectic gestures to his teammates during the team talk while captain Ciaran Hudson looking on with a distant, slightly glazed look in his eyes.
 
The second half saw Leinster continue in cruise control giving a lesson in counterattacking football. O Seanain was forced to come deep to look for the ball because Dave "Bonecrusher" Burke was all over him like a cheap suit. In the midst of this classy Leinster performance Crusher seemed to reinvent himself as marauding halfback regularly defying his nosebleeds to pass the halfway line. Similarly Emmett "Devine" Devine bombed forward at every opportunity looking to fill his boots but he must have insulted his teammates for he was ignored more times than Dave Collins at a singles' night. Fair play to man-mountain Sean O'Connor who got a goal by utilising the skills learnt in his many other sports including soccer, basketball, baseball, archery, dressage, the luge, coxless fours sculling, and interpretive dance.
 
The game was killed off as a contest by a classy goal by Pearse O'Caoimh whose languid style and devil-may-care demeanour belie a steely determination and a self-belief known only to the most narcissistic of souls.
 
Ultimately the Dubs will feel that personnel and past performance should have made this contest more competitive and will be disappointed in a somewhat abject display, but credit to the lads from Leinster who could have been in the final themselves had the Fates blown the winds of fortune in their favour during previous encounters.
 
Man of the Match: Pearse O'Caoimh
 
 
Outstanding display from Munster sees them take inter-club tournament as Connaught/Ulster/Clare (CUC hereafter) exit with a whimper.
Report by Pearse O'Caoimh

Munster 3-13
Connaught/Ulster/Clare 1-4
 
Both Munster and CUC came into the final round of games unbeaten as the crowds swelled around parc 50 in anticipation at what was expected to be the showcase match of the tournament. Though a quick glance at the sides during the warm up told a different story. Munster were boasting a particularly inflated squad of 14 seasoned pros while CUC looked to have the bare minimum to field a team. Both provinces however, especially Ulster, have come through worse in the past (historically speaking) so to write them off would have been a massive error and one this reporter was certainly not going to make.
 
The opening exchanges were tense and yielded few scores but it wasn't long before Munster started to impose their superiority on the game. After Clareman James O'Shaughnessy pointed early on for his side from a sideline, CUC were forced to wait until the dying moments of the first half for their next score. Michael Hough, formidable as ever, was causing huge problems for the CUC defence and was picking off points with relative ease. Munster were an absolute joy to watch at times as Daves Barrett and Collins on the field understanding continued to blossom in the half back line. Their build up play was patient, their passing was consistent and this told on the score board as CUC's hopes of a top of the table finish began to fade.
 
There was a nifty little new young lad playing in the full back line for Munster who deserves mention for an impressive debut. His presence, though welcomed, adds to the air of discontent within Belgian GAA circles about the mysterious and steady expansion of the Munster squad with unknowns. This was reflected by their increasingly emphatic results since the beginning of the campaign.
 
This reporter found himself on umpire duty during the match and noted the contrast in mood between both goalkeepers as he fished for quotes and insight. Romadrian in the Munster goal was brash and confident proclaiming "Munster is the best" while Kevin Keary in the CUC goal cut a lonely figure as time and time again, he was forced to collect the ball from the imaginary nets he had forgotten to bring.
 
Paul Hagan's goal midway through the second half looked to renew CUC's faith and passion but Munster just proved too strong all over the pitch. Not even the famous Olof Gill holler could spur his men on for what would have been an amazing comeback.
 
Such was the fluidity of Munster's play that I could not pick a man of the match. This reporter recalls a unique moment in 2008 when after a mesmerising performance from his own county in an all-Ireland hurling final, the manager was in fact awarded the man of the match accolade. Therefore, David Barrett deserves the credit here.