I don't need to be here

It’s December 29th and its pissing rain outside. Last night I was in Bandon where the rain was accompanied by driving wind. We were playing a 1st against 2nd hockey match and all day I couldn’t decide whether I’d rather it be cancelled or not. It wasn’t. We played, we showered and we went home, happy that the roads allowed a safe passage. Today I’m driving in the gates of the G.A.A. pitch in Kinsale, looking through the rain at the drenched pitch and wondering what the hell I’m doing here.

I don’t need to be here I’m thinking. No-one will miss me if I do a u-turn and go straight back out the gate. Staying is an unnecessary act of madness. I’ve Bolster with me though and after we had both purchased a pair of those leggings (otherwise known as tights) this morning, it was the perfect opportunity to give them a run-out.

It’s strange to feel like an outsider in a dressing room that was once a place frequented as often as your own living room. It is predominantly filled with U-21’s, none of whom I would have played any ball with before. I look over at ‘my’ seat and see there are a couple of lads occupying the area. Cheeky bastards. Unperturbed, I saunter over and one way or another encourage them to free up my space. Bolster and Searlzy probably sense my unease in the opposite corner and crack as many jokes as possible in the short time we are there. It’s bitter outside and we need some cajoling.

The session was to last 1h15mins and we were promised it wouldn’t be too bad. With the main field out of action, we are forced onto Seanie O’Callaghan Memorial Park. It’s basically a converted farmer’s field, with a generous slope. It makes Parc50 look like Croke Park.

The session was lively and played out with good intensity. Condon is running the show which gives the younger lads a clear advantage (he trained them for the last two years) as they catch onto the drills much quicker than the rest. You’d be tired after every drill but recovered in time for the next. In one of the warm-up drills you had to call a fella’s name. The realisation of my profile was emphasised when Brian Murphy told me to tell lad’s my name. We’re all only passing through.

There was 30+ there and the buzz was good. We had the odd blow-up which is rarely a bad thing. There’s been a lot of change in the camp this year and I hope they do well. Still, It was obvious even today that a few lads need to apply themselves better and there is still the usual lads missing in action. The relationship with the Hurlers has started off well and this harmony is necessary, especially with so many dual players.

I don’t know do I miss it or not. I’ve picked up so many injuries in the last few years that I’m not sure could I maintain the pace for the entire season. It was enjoyable though and feeling that bit of pain in the harder runs makes it worthwhile.